Wednesday, January 7, 2015

- To be and To bear

Yesterday I was given a gift ... one golden hour with a baby sleeping in my arms. From wails to hiccups to snuffles, Jace succumbed to patient rocking and a steady drumbeat on his back.

The last time he napped in my arms (two months ago) I snapped this picture ... 


This time, as his breathing slowed and deepened, I was determined to soak up every detail ... the seemingly endless tending of my own mothering days now a rare opportunity to be present.

Downy hair, milky breath, silken lashes ... the delicious warmth and weight of a just-right-sized body ... stillness and soft light ... rocking, rocking, rocking ... watching breath ... listening to it shift, awareness dawning, eyes opening, lips gently pursing ... looking for what only a mother can give ... the end of an hour.

But with these words, an hour to be re-membered ... re-called ... re-lived ... a gift for all time.

And then, because there are two to love, I made a bread bear for big brother Jackson ... to go with the molasses "kee-kees" that he liked far better once they were baked to a crisp crackle.


Coda: Today dawned clear and cold, sunlight streaming in the window. And as I nuzzled the top of Jace's head (because there is nothing better than kissing the top of a baby's head) the sun beams caught in his hair. And like a thousand thousand tiny prisms, those impossibly fine strands of gold became a thousand thousand rainbows. Another forever memory ....


4 comments:

Marti said...

A Grandmother's love...sigh. For me, it was the back of the neck, to nuzzle. When my twin grandchildren were born, boy and girl, I was privileged to be able to spend the first two months of their lives with them...It was truly a gift of the heart to watch my daughter mother her little ones, to watch my son in law as well. Generational love and your words Liz, the sweet photos, complete with chubby bear bread, echo in my heart. Thank you for this lovely post..

Liz Ackert said...

It is a gift of time ... and perspective. Well worth a 1500 mile round trip every couple of months.

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

love
how the Threads of it hold us, time into time

Liz Ackert said...

Pictures and words are but a faint echo of the real thing ... I am missing them already and we're not yet home