- This old shirt

Note: Click to listen to Mary Chapin Carpenter sing This Shirt as you read ...

After the intensity of working on Hearts for Charleston, I needed to decompress. So I decided to mend this cotton shirt from LL Bean, one of the last gifts from my mom, who passed away in 2008 ...

Mostly used as a night shirt, I recently realized it was getting threadbare ...

which I guess was understandable after seven plus years ...

I wish I had realized it sooner as I could have reinforced the thin spots with kantha stitch alone, but given the holes it seemed best to back the mending with thin cotton cloth ...

to support the stitching ...

And then, because I really just wanted to keep on stitching and have a little fun, I added cloth patches on the front over a couple of stains and some frayed edges ...

I even used some fabric from a deconstructed blouse of my mom's that had also served as a night shirt until it started to fall apart ....

In hindsight, I wish I had mended that blouse instead of tearing it apart, but at least I'm able to wear a bit of it again.

By the way, those of you who have been following the Hearts for Charleston posts might recognize this repurposed fabric from the first set of strips made to honor Ethel Lee Lance. In a way I'm glad it worked out that way as I now have a keepsake from that project.

- Done for now: Hearts for Charleston is heading to Massachusetts

After adding some more stitch to the horizontal strips ...

and twenty cross stitches representing the children, young and grown, left behind by the nine who lost their lives at Emanuel ...

this piece of Hearts for Charleston feels done ...

I'll sleep on it, of course. But the cloth is already so freighted with symbolism (intended and unintended alike) that it doesn't feel right to add any more to it.

Thanks again to Dee Mallon for enabling me to take this journey through sadness and wonder. I have learned much along the way.

And to Deb Sposa's students: art, craft, creativity (whatever name you choose to give it) has the potential to change you in ways you can't imagine. It is worth every moment spent in pursuit of what you feel called to do.

- Listening to what cloth needs

I really didn't know where to go next, but I knew I had two problems to solve. First, the reverse appliqué heart was buckled and needed to be stabilized. Second, the indigo pieces cut out of the heart needed to be placed somewhere, somehow. So I started pinning ...

At first I thought perhaps I could stitch a ghost heart around the "I FORGIVE" piece. But the "died" piece in the middle of the reverse appliqué heart didn't feel right. So I gathered the rest of the scraps together and tried to reassemble them into a heart shape ...

realizing as I did so that there were nine scraps altogether if I included the smallest bit ...

Note the whisper-thin shred on the upper right edge of the heart

However, after moving the pieces back and forth several times, some began to disintegrate, so I hastily pinned them where they were and began to baste. Then, thinking of Mo and her bandaged hearts, I stitched around the edge of the heart ...

It reminded me of the torn and tattered heart made last year when I first began seriously studying with Jude Hill. Remembering the lesson learned, I didn't try to tidy this new heart up ... instead I let it speak of the loose ends of everyday life that the Emanuel Nine surely left behind.

Turning next to the reverse appliqué heart, I decided it needed a backing. Tearing a small patch of Salvia amistad cloth it occurred to me that it was about the right size for a label. So I wrote some text with a Pitt pen ... twice. The first time just didn't look right, so I tore another patch, re-wrote the text, then invisibly basted a piece of harem cloth to the back. After backstitching the text in blue, I used a traditional basting stitch to attach the patch to the back of the cloth. Following the lines left during the dyeing process, I made fine running and back stitches using white floss ...

which went through to the front ...

When it was done, I removed the basting threads from the back ...

and turned to the front, where I discovered nine lines of stitch crossing the heart ...

Life lines

What will come next isn't yet clear, but I absolutely trust the process that has brought me safe thus far ...

Overview of back

and that it will lead me home ...

- Hearts for Charleston takes another step forward

The strips have all been basted down with backstitch ...

Most edges were left raw, but some were turned under ...

after which the heart was cut out free hand ...

Behind the heart is a piece of muslin dyed with Salvia amistad

creating a reverse appliqué that can also be seen from the back ...

The backing cloth was dyed with Thimble Flowers

It's now time to consider how best to finish the cloth, including this piece of the heart ...

- Hearts for Charleston: One step closer

Nine strips by nine strips have been torn and tentatively woven together ...

It's been an interesting journey so far, as I've alternated working out in the yard each morning, and then come in to stitch my ideas into reality each afternoon. Early on I realized that liturgical colors would play a role ... I'll write more about that in another post.

More critically, my initial idea to stitch the name of each person who lost their life onto nine of the strips ...

just wouldn't let go, but neither could I ignore Dee's request to "hold off on that for now." Digging in the hot sun, I recalled Psalm 139 with its references to being made in secret and woven together. So I ended up stitching each name ...

using shades of purple and red ...

Note: the strip for Ethel Lee Lance was reworked in a different cloth after this picture was taken

then turned them face down and set them as the vertical elements of the square, the names thus made "secret" ...

The horizontal strips were stitched with inspiration from Fiona Dempster ...

using words spoken or written by those who had lost loved ones, each strip corresponding to the individuals named above ...

Every fiber in my body hurts ... I will never be the same
Prosper and believe in any of your dreams
This has truly broken my heart in every way
We are the family that love built. We have no room for [hate]
She was where she needed to be ... she was not a victim
I forgive you and my family forgives you
You took something very precious ... and I forgive you
Their legacies will live in love so hate won't win
Hate is taught ... she never taught us to hate

Then the strips were interwoven, revealing key words in the process ...

While at the same time, the word "hate" that I had worried over ...

ended up concealed, as if it had been planned that way ...

As perhaps it had.

- Still here

This is what I'm working with ...

but the actual work isn't ready to show quite yet.

- Keeping well occupied: Updates on current projects

I've done a second dyeing run on indigo cloths destined to be a part of Hearts for Charleston ...

Thimble flower dyed over indigo cloth
after 24 hours of steeping in an alum and vinegar solution

Thinking I might have found the "missing ingredient" from the last thimble flower dye run that veered toward purple instead of the expected blue, I pre-mordanted this set of cloths with soy milk. To no avail ... they once again turned purple. So I'm accepting that's what is meant to be.

After these cloths spend another day in the sun and take a trip through the washer to remove allergens, I'll be moving on to the next step in creating the nine-by-nine strip cloth weaving: stitch.

While patiently waiting for the dyeing process to conclude, I finished the second building in the Austin Skyline cloth collage.  Linen side ...

and dyed-muslin side, to which I have pinned the cloth for the third building ...

Note: I'm giving up on designating which is the a-side and which is the b-side for now

Probably should have done this sooner, but here's a link to one of the skyline images I've been using as a guide for the project.

As noted earlier, I've also been working on turning over the partially decomposed compost heaps on the edge of the floodplain.  Realizing that the newly exposed soil was in danger of washing out during the heavy rainfalls we've been having, I began creating berms on the upstream side ...

And as I worked, I began to think of it as "the cactus corral" ...

Eventually the compost in the middle will be moved out to the edges, leaving a clear area for planting

With any luck, the protected area can be seeded with wildflowers that will turn this formerly weed and cactus-choked corner into a thing of beauty.

- Hearts for Charleston dye results, part 1

These are four of the denim and linen cloths that I put in the dye pot two days ago for Dee Mallon's Hearts for Charleston, showing a-sides and turned over b-sides ...

And here are the remaining five, with the darker indigo cloths to the right showing far less evidence of marking ...

I ironed them in hopes of setting the marks from the Thimble flowers (Ratibida columnifera) and Friendship sage (Salvia amistad ... named "amistad" for "friendship" but also the name of a ship that was the scene of a slave mutiny). Then put them into a hot cycle in the washing machine to tame the allergens that have my tongue tingling in a most unpleasant way. It's possible that some of the marks will fade, so I wanted to document them here before proceeding.

It's interesting to note that the deep blues pulled from past dye trials turned out more purple this time around, making me wonder what role the original indigo in the cloth might have played. Although it may be as simple as the indigo blue cloth masking the blue dye, leaving the purple component more apparent.

With Dana's multiple dye trials in mind, once the cloths are washed I will consider which (if any) call for another round of dyeing ... perhaps with windfall lichen next time.

- Composting

This post is dedicated to Mo and Grace, who I first "met" last year when we were all taking Jude Hill's online course Considering Weave.

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We returned home from our week at the Outer  Banks to find our compost rows considerably diminished in height ...

25 inches of rain in less than two months probably helped, but the fact is that waiting twelve months for nature to do her thing didn't hurt either. Of course, it's not all decomposition as the cacti are determined to make a stand ...

but they are falling before the shovel as I turn over the rows ...

revealing the rich vegetal rot within ...

Compost was a subject that Grace and I pursued at some length last year,
culminating in the arrival of Underlying Order at Cascade Trail

Meanwhile, some newcomers remain undisturbed ...

Dayflower aka Widow's Tears

Antelope horns aka Milkweed (you can never have too many)

Texas Persimmon (I'm watching this closely to add to next month's dye pot)

I've also been plucking the last of the burgundy petals from the Mexican hats (aka Thimble flower or Prairie coneflower) in preparation for adding more blue to these nine bits of cloth ...

The bundles are destined to become a part of Dee Mallon's Hearts for Charleston, to which Mo is also contributing.

And while I wait for blue dye to happen, I'm continuing with the Austin skyline, first posted here. One building down and seven (maybe eight) to go. This is the side I'm stitching on, using the weave of the linen as a guide ...

A-side destined to become the B-side

But ultimately it is the back that will become the front, as the stitches marry with the dyed cloth strips to create a less formal union ...

B-side destined to become the A-side

At least that's the plan. I'm not sure I'm being clear on this, but it should become more apparent as each new building makes an appearance.