Like cleaning or straightening something up, paying a bill, making an appointment, organizing anything and everything, reading, writing, gardening, cooking ... doing stuff I love and/or hate by turns.
Should-ness.
I used to bite my nails, mostly when I was reading (which I loved) while thinking of all the things that were going undone (which I hated).
Is should-ness the opposite of mindfulness?
I would like to be mindful as I stitch, be peacefully in the moment. But all too often I find myself running an endless mix-tape of should-have-dones. More should-ness. It would be nice to let that go.
So I'm writing this while thinking I'd rather be stitching and letting cloth blow in the wind ...
as time goes by ...
shoulda, coulda, woulda…it seems I'm doing the exact same thing. After a morning of stitching & not cleaning (but doling out jobs to the boys, does that count?)
ReplyDeleteYour patches in the branches are so brilliantly happy! Imagining a forest of such trees.
Ah "should-ness" or the ole monkey mind; how well I know it but over the years, I have learned, at least most of the time, to let it go - to recognize when it wants to scale the border of my personal time that I am able to stay present in whatever brings me joy creatively and that ranges from reading (I am a voracious reader) to gardening to cloth dyeing to having my two nights a week for watching PBS, etc. and doing so without feeling a moment of guilt. The way I see it , I've earned my self-time...
ReplyDeleteRich and I have learned that we need these blocks of time that are totally devoted to our own pursuits and it feels good to have no time constraints or deadlines any longer in our lives. I still clean house every Monday and I still list out weekly menu plans on a dry erase magnetic board that is on our frig complete with freeze inventory because I am a Virgo, after all, and organization is my middle name. What is happening more and more though is that my menu planning says, "leftovers" or is left blank and we each fix our own dinner. While we do enjoy sharing meals together, lately we also enjoy doing our own thing; I figure after 46 years of fixing breakfast, making lunches and cooking dinner, it is terrific to only do so if I feel like it...
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ReplyDeletemindfulness takes practice. Mindfulness IS Practice. You already know that.
to be always in the past or in the future....somewhere else, draw a picture of that...i know
you fret about drawing skills...but draw a picture of that...whatever comes
out of the free associating...do it with a pencil so you can erase if you
want to
it's just for your eyes only.
your life in the tree is GRAND
a friend sent me this poem 40 years ago-
ReplyDeleteToo Many Names
Mondays are meshed with Tuesdays
and the week with the whole year.
Time cannot be cut
with your weary scissors,
and all the names of the day
are washed out by the waters of night.
No one can claim the name of Pedro,
nobody is Rosa or Maria,
all of us are dust or sand,
all of us are rain under rain.
They have spoken to me of Venezuelas,
of Chiles and of Paraguays;
I have no idea what they are saying.
I know only the skin of the earth
and I know it is without a name.
When I lived amongst the roots
they pleased me more than flowers did,
and when I spoke to a stone
it rang like a bell.
It is so long, the spring
which goes on all winter.
Time lost its shoes.
A year is four centuries.
When I sleep every night,
what am I called or not called?
And when I wake, who am I
if I was not while I slept?
This means to say that scarcely
have we landed into life
than we come as if new-born;
let us not fill our mouths
with so many faltering names,
with so many sad formalities,
with so many pompous letters,
with so much of yours and mine,
with so much of signing of papers.
I have a mind to confuse things,
unite them, bring them to birth,
mix them up, undress them,
until the light of the world
has the oneness of the ocean,
a generous, vast wholeness,
a crepitant fragrance.
by Pablo Neruda
Hazel, Marti, Grace and Mo -
ReplyDeleteEach of you has given me the gift of words. A veritable torrent, washing over me, calming me, bringing me simple joy.
This is what true friends do ... see truth and speak it. Then offer a way ...
I am stitching today. My mind is here with me. And if it wanders into past or future, I drag it back to here, now ... where the sun is warming, the breeze cooling, birds singing, grasses waving ... ever-changing, forever the same.
Thank you.
Oh my!. I've been wondering how your stitching is coming together. Love the black & white amongst all the wonderful color. So inspired. Thank you for giving us a peek!
ReplyDeleteThanks Deb ... I can't wait to take it to the beach to get a good dose of salt air!
Deleteanything can be a should and almost all the things I avoid can be things I love if I find the right time to do them... that seems to be part of the trick for me.
ReplyDelete